Fasting

The almighty juggernaut, Facebook, has come under fire of late. I am not smart enough to understand the intricacies of their alleged misconduct. I know it has something to do with the manipulation of data. I know that all of this has an Orwellian flavor to it. I know we have to be idiots to believe the mission of Facebook is solely for the purpose of connecting people with people.

All that said, I am on a Facebook fast. After a bit of reflection, I realized that I have been allowing FB to add layers of perceived demand in my life. Such as:

If I "like" one friend's post, do I need to "like" everyone's posts?

If I "hide" friends' postings, will they find out?

If I never post, will I be considered a lurker? (Too late for me.)

Do I have to post a birthday greeting for everyone?

Do I have to confirm every friend request?

What will I miss if I stay away from Facebook?

All of the above are self-imposed challenges for me. Nevertheless, I am allowing such nonsense to become annoying. I am also spending too much time on FB, scrolling through pages of posts that may or may not be necessary. I am spending too much time descending into rabbit holes of snoopiness. Some of it has been entertaining, but a big portion of it has not been very edifying. FB allows me to be a Peeping Tom without the fuss of hiding in bushes near a picture window.

In addition, I find it awkward to have meaningful conversations with folks who post everything but their booger production on FB. Favorite conversation starters such as "How are your kids doing?" and "Have you been traveling lately?" become silly when I have read and seen pictures of everything on their FB posts. It is like asking someone a personal question when you just finished reading their diary.

Social media is the darling of our fast paced world because it is a quick way to keep up with the world around us. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. But, you get what you pay for. Because I am old, I know that there was a time when I could look up something in a World Book encyclopedia and no one knew what topic I was interested in but me, myself and I. Today, if I google a topic, all my devices are suddenly flashing ads related to my topic of interest, age and political affiliation.

My Facebook fast has been good for me so far. I am turning the pages of real books rather than mindlessly scrolling through computer screen pages. I am watching birds outside my window now that spring is luring them back (sorry, about the recent snows, little birdies). I am enjoying the freshness of conversations with others.

I have no end game in mind. I could go back to FB tomorrow or never. My fast is not about shaming others to do the same. It is a personal decision to be more mindful of my own actions. I want "face" and "book" to be two separate terms.

Hope you can enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend this week. Or send an old-fashioned card to someone you care about. Or belly laugh with someone you love. No data disclaimer required.

One Another

There are many challenges in the world of teaching in a middle school. Students can become ornery, sassy, apathetic or defiant on any given day and at any given hour. Their mood swings are notorious. Girls are often embroiled in whispers of drama and relationship angst. Boys become fascinated with girls but are unsure of how to deal with them. Add to the mix a cocktail of hormones swirling around in their bodies and it is truly the perfect storm.

As they struggle to morph into adults, teens test the waters of maturity. Recent student protests featured in the news focus on this murky process. Administrators across the nation are grappling with ways to allow students the freedom to take a stand without compromising school policies. The fervor of youth can be a tidal wave without boundaries if left unchecked.

I am not smart enough to have the answers to this problem. I do know, however, that there are a lot of good kids who are doing the one thing that will probably make the greatest difference in schools. There are kids who are watching out for one another. There are kids who care.

This lesson was brought home to me by a couple of incidents that occurred at the end of the day outside my classroom. Leah, a young lady who is often hypersensitive to the remarks of others, was once again visibly upset as she pulled her backpack out of her locker. Three other girls were gathered around her, ready to assist. The young ladies represented different races, social classes and degrees of edginess. But all three were united in their genuine concern for Leah. They asked her what was wrong. Leah said she had her feelings hurt by the remarks of another student. Without missing a beat the three girls gave Leah a group hug and continued with words of support. Girl One comforted Leah by telling her she was going to be all right. Girl Two validated Leah's feelings by assuring her that some students are just plain rude.

Leah basked in the support of the three girls, none of whom are her closest friends. When they asked her if she was going to be okay, Leah nodded her head and said she was feeling better. As the girls started to leave, Girl Three said, "I promise I will pray for you, Leah."

Two days later, Leah was once again in a state of turmoil at the end of the day. This time two boys came running into my room and said they were worried about Leah and that I should check on her. Mind you, neither boy is known for his stellar behavior in the classroom, but they cared enough to find an adult who could help. As I counseled Leah, another girl passed by and said, "You've got this, Leah. You can be a superwoman."

Most likely, Leah will continue to struggle with self-esteem issues as she navigates middle school roads. Most likely, there will be more rude remarks made to others in school settings. And, most likely there will be students who are too wounded to act appropriately.

Blessedly, there are students who want to do the right thing. They are learning the powerful lesson of caring for one another. It is a superpower, for sure.

Misfortune

Sooner or later, a thief is bound to strike in such a way that the victim's sense of security is sliced open and left raw. It was my turn to be the victim. No, I wasn't robbed at gunpoint in a parking lot. Nor was my home burglarized. The thugs in my case were not brave enough to show their faces or leave a set of fingerprints. They carried out their malfeasance through the nameless, cowardly world of cyberspace.

A few days ago, my bank called to alert me of suspicious charges made on my bank debit card. I immediately checked my account and was shocked to see three pending charges that were not made by anyone in my household. I quickly deactivated my debit card so I could prevent further bleeding. My emotions swirled in fear, anger and disgust. Fortunately, the debits were under fifty dollars but the sense of personal violation knows no dollar amount. And I did not appreciate the inconvenience of getting a new debit card and filing a claim on the unauthorized account charges.

Early Saturday morning, I started the damage control process with a phone call to my bank. My call was taken by a chirpy young lady named Melissa. She sweetly asked how my day was going and I answered with, "Just fine. Waiting for a storm here." She responded, "Oh, you mean thunder?" I laughed and said, "No. We have snow coming our way." She gasped a little and said, "I live in Texas so I don't know much about that. We have bipolar weather right now. Warm one day and cool the next." We both agreed that weather makes life interesting.

Melissa cheerfully helped me navigate the waters of fraud. She skillfully closed out my debit card and issued me a new one. She gave me a verification number for the next step of filing a claim against the unauthorized charges and transferred me to the claims department.

A kind woman named Belinda answered my call. She seemed a little weary around the edges as she asked the tough questions inherent in a claims department.

"Have you ever given your card to anyone else?" No.

"Has anyone in your household used your card number to purchase something on line?" No

"Are you sure the charges you are refuting were not made by anyone in your household?" I burst out laughing on this one. I said, "Maam, the charges were for iTunes. Trust me when I say there is no one in this house who knows how to access such a thing, much less pay for whatever it is they are selling."

She graciously finished her questioning and took care of the charges for me. I thanked her for all her help and wished her a good day.

The experience taught me a few lessons. First, there are nasty folks in the world who spend more time being bad than good. Second, there are kind folks in the world who watch out for us and help us mop up trouble. And finally, I am glad I only know how to order CDs for my music. It made things a little easier this go around.