Unpairings

There are many sweet and blessed pairings that make our world a better place (see last post). There are also a few duos that need unyoking in my estimation.

1) Chinese egg rolls and C-stores--Soda, coffee, gas, bottled water and beef jerky make sense to me. A flaccid little tube of ground something-or-other rolling away on a series of speed bumps is just plain creepy. I love a good egg roll but I think they are best left to restaurants specializing in such delicacies. (Full disclaimer: My husband will eat anything that comes out of a C-store and he says, "It's all good.")

2) Smartphones and dining out--Shut the rectangles of distraction off, people. Unless you have an app that is alerting you to the coming of the rapture, I am at a loss as to what is more important than the person who is sitting across the table from you. Yes, conversation can require creativity and a little work, but the rewards are great.

3) Sleevelessness and below zero weather--Not a wise combo. I teach in a middle school so I've seen it all. Shorts and flip-flops are the fashion selections of choice for many of them. Hats and gloves are virtually non-existent and zippers on coats are just for decoration. It's best for me to button up my third sweater layer and look the other way.

4) Coffee and flavored cream stuff--Eat a hazelnut if you are in the mood for such a thing, but leave the flavorings out of the joe. Enjoy all that an unadorned cup of coffee has to offer. Even bad coffee deserves a little respect.

5) Sixty degree weather in the winter time--Please don't send me hate mail, but I am a purist. Winter is about crunchy snow, swirly breath, sharp icicles and puffy parkas. It's a shock to the system when a chinook wind unexpectedly blows through the plains. Let springtime ease in with a whisper rather than an occasional shout.

6) Dentist appointments and days off--Yes, it makes sense to schedule appointments on days when there are more time slots to choose from. But, why should a perfectly good day be spent with a suction tube in your mouth and the sound of metal scraping on your teeth? Add that kind of joy to a work day and call it good.

7) Morning and exercise--Should be the perfect match, starting the day with a little blood pumping movement. Despite all the good reasons for dawn workouts I find it difficult to sully the beauty of daybreak with such activity.

8) Fluorescent lights and dressing rooms--It's cruel enough trying to find clothes that fit. Add to that the frightening patina caused by harsh illumination and I'm rejecting most purchases. I propose dimmer switches in all dressing rooms and mirrors with avatar choices.  

May your week be filled with many joyous pairings and feel free to unpair the annoying duets.

Pairings

Romeo and Juliet. Peanut butter and jelly. Dust and my furniture. Some things go together without saying. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's time to share a few of my favorite pairings.

1) Cheerios and chocolate chips--no cooking required. Grab a handful of Cheerios and use your other hand to sprinkle a few, or a lot of, chocolate chips on top. Pop the whole works in your mouth and enjoy the crunchy, chocolaty numminess. Repeat, if necessary.

2) Basil and tomatoes--planned by God, I'm sure. Sadly, both are in short supply this time of year in the Midwest but a few dollops of pesto on a sandwich can remind us of better times. Tomato season is only six months away.

3) Mustard and honey--must haves in every pantry. I suppose it's the sweet and savory juxtaposition that makes this pair so appealing. Whatever it is, one can't go wrong with slathering honey mustard on chicken, pork, veggies, pretzels and fingertips. Slurp. Slurp.

4) Coffee and morning--heavenly duo. Enough said.

5) Popcorn and butter--no microwave bags allowed. I want the real stuff, swimming in butter, sans the paper bag taste. Add a favorite TV show or movie and you're in business. Cheap thrills.

6) Rhubarb and strawberries--tarty sweetness. Midwesterners are always proud of rhubarb, a decidedly upper latitudes crop. One can make a sauce, a crisp or a pie, your choice. All will be tasty.

7) Walnuts and golden raisins--gorpy goodness. This combo is especially appreciated when one needs a little protein kick and a touch of sweet. Both are a little pale for their species, but so am I. Maybe that's why I like them so much.

8) Chocolate and...well, just about anything. Okay, maybe not with brussel sprouts or kale, but that could be good, too. Maybe.

9) Fries and ketchup--drooling now. I just can't eat a naked potato. I like them whipped with butter, scalloped with cheese, baked with sour cream and dredged in condiments. Dipping is such fun.

10) Frosting and saltines--delish. They are like little flat cupcakes you can make whenever there is a growl going on in the stomach. Truthfully, I don't even wait for the growl. I just go for it when both ingredients are handy.

11) My husband and me--a pairing for 37 years. It must be all the hearts and roses making me a bit sappy, but I can honestly say that I've been married to my best friend for almost four decades. I'd be lying if I said it was always mushy, googly-eyed love (not sure it ever was). True love is like the weather in the Midwest. Warm, cold, blizzardy, rainy, windy and sometimes all of that in the same day. Only the committed experience the joy.

Whether it's chips and dip, bath and bubbles or cocoa and conversation, I hope you can experience your favorite combo this month.

Happy Valentine's Day!