New Year's Promise

Since becoming a blogger, I find myself reading and analyzing other blogs. I probably should have done that before I started blogging, but I am quite sure I would have been too intimidated to begin so I guess it all worked out in the end. I have no right whatsoever to be critical of other blogs but I have noticed a few features that can be a bit annoying.

One is the choice of advertisement styles. I understand that the only way to make a living at this business is to make it a business and that means having ads splashed across one's blog. I just don't want to read a blog that includes flashing, twirling or blinking ads hawking my attention. No words of wisdom are worth that kind of abuse in my estimation. A few tasteful ads placed along the edges of a blog is really all one should have to cope with during a reading experience.

The second annoyance button for me is the word "journey."  Many blogs invite their readers to join them on their journey as they:
a. bake pastries from Grandma's cookbook.
b. care for an adopted 3-legged dog.
c. find peace in fitness.
d. eat paleo, gluten-free and organic meals.
e. balance work, photography, writing cookbooks, raising kids and never sleeping.

No thank you. I will let those folks walk the road on their own. I like bacon, 4-legged cats and sitting.

A third red flag for me is reading paragraphs that are sprinkled with strike throughs and hashtags. Certainly blogging is a writing style that allows for a great deal of literary and grammatical freedom (I am exhibit A), but I need a little more formality so I don't feel like I am reading another paper from my 7th graders. Leave the strike throughs for editing and the hashtags for tweeting.

Finally, I bypass blogs that have formats that are hard on my old eyes. Fancy schmancy backgrounds can be a distraction if they are not balanced with the site's color scheme and font choices. Too many pictures and too little writing can also make my head spin with scrolling and re-focusing.

Therefore, my New Year's pledge to you, dear readers, is that this blog will never have twirling ads that promise to bust belly fat in 5 days. I will not use editing marks to get my point across. I won't use hashtags for effect because, quite frankly, I don't really know what a tweet is. And above all, I will not ask you to join me on a journey to somewhere, doing something that doesn't sound fun.

You, of course, are invited to join me for a cup of coffee and a bag of chocolate chips any day of the week. That's a promise I can keep.

Happy New Year!

Gifting

I am gifting challenged, plain and simple. The world of retail is a baffling and anxiety-ridden place for me and I tend to avoid such activity if at all possible. Gift cards and good old-fashioned cash are my go-to friends when I am faced with holidays, weddings and other such celebrations.

Despite my retail insecurities, there are times when I think I know a gift dud when I see one. Here are a few on my radar.

1) Duck Dynasty Chia Pet--My husband is a huge fan of the Duck boys but I think he would prefer a duck call over a sprouting figurine. Yes, you get your choice of watching Si or Willy grow a green beard, but is this how you want to spend your money and time? Buy a window herb garden if you feel the need for green and DVR your favorite episode so you can watch Si deliver Si-isms rather than Chia sprouts.

2) Ear Wax remover--I saw this jewel on a list of gift ideas in one of our local ads. Somehow I equate an ear wax remover with a nose hair trimmer. Personal, yes. Creepy, double yes. Grooming tools are best left out of the gifting arena in my estimation.

3) Sound amplifier (a.k.a rechargeable hearing aid)--Goodness me. It's bad enough to lose one's faculties, but to receive such an item as a gift is tantamount to pasting an "I'm feeble" placard on someone. Continue to yell at us old folks and leave it at that.

4) Tins--These are often filled with various delectables such as popcorn, candies and fruitcake. And of course, there is the added bonus of having something decorative when one is finished with the treat. And therein lies the problem. When was the last time you wanted to use a rust prone tin for decorating? Let Currier and Ives snazz up your greeting cards and call it good.

5) Gadgets--Cookie presses, salad shooters and Belgian waffle makers promise  to make your life tastier. And your counters full of clutter. Unless you know someone who has excess square footage for such gifts, beware. (Full disclosure: I have a Belgian waffle maker and love every syrup-laden moment it provides. It's nestled by the flashlights in my back closet.)

6) 96-count eyeshadow palette (not making this one up, folks)--If you want to look like one of my seventh graders experimenting with fashion, this is the gift for you. Personally, I don't think there's an eyelid out there that needs more than two or three tasteful adornments. I suggest leaving this wheel of color on the retailer's shelf.

7) Candles the size of tree trunks--Yes, they meet the under ten dollars criteria. No, I don't want my house to smell like pine cones for six years. They also get very difficult to light after they start imploding. A few simple votives are more practical and one doesn't need to adopt a life long fragrance.

Please forgive me if you've already purchased one of the above items for your loved ones. As stated earlier, I'm a gift selecting idiot and not to be trusted. And no worries if you've wrapped up a salad shooter for me. My Belgian waffle maker needs a friend and I'm not afraid to re-gift if I can find a gift bag that is the right size.

Happy shopping!