Brains On

My mother loves puzzle books. In her retirement years she ordered crossword puzzle books by the case. It wasn't always easy to procure a new puzzle book in her small town so she made sure she always had a ready supply in her own closet. She secured the little books horizontally onto a clipboard so she had a good working surface. Most of her pencils had big pink erasers stuck on their ends. Fun for hours.

She still loves puzzles, despite her fuzzy brain. She has added word finds to her latest puzzle fun and I have seen her tackle word scrambles and hidden picture challenges as well. Her doctor loves to hear that she is into puzzles so everyone is happy.

Last week she was working on a puzzle book I hadn't seen before. She was unable to tell me the source of the book but she was busy working her way through it. The theme of the book was all things American and the mark on the book was "VFW" so I suspect it was a product of recent Veteran's Day events. She showed me some of the different puzzles she had finished and I was impressed with her accomplishments.

Three particular puzzles were left untouched. They were trivia questions pertaining to different aspects of America. We decided to make a game of it and see who could get the most questions correct. The American Flag was our first category. Epic fail. Out of twenty-four questions, we barely eked out four correct answers. Mom kept saying, "And we're teachers, we should know this stuff." To which I  replied, "I taught fourth grade and middle school science, not a lot of Star Spangled information embedded in those two fields."

We moved on to U.S. government. Our ego sails were filled on this one. We got all but two correct and we gave ourselves half points on both of them because we are teachers scoring our own test. One of the questions stunned me, however. The question was, "How many members are in the U.S. House of Representatives?" Without missing a beat, my mother replies, "435" and by Gumby, she was right. This is coming from someone who can't tell me if she just ate a cookie two seconds ago, despite the crumbs on her sweater and the napkin in her lap. I guess years of very active participation in politics etched information deeply into her brain. I'm afraid the only fact that will be etched in my brain will be the color of a Cheetoh.

We finished our puzzle challenge with general U.S. trivia. We gave ourselves a D+ on this one and that was probably grading on the curve. We realized we only knew the name of one city in Vermont. Wrong answer, anyway. We let our minds sketch the shorelines of different states so we could answer the question about which state has the most shoreline miles. It is Alaska, one point for us. Overall, we patted ourselves on the back for at least attempting to answer each question. Teachers know how to encourage, even if it is just ourselves.

Here is your U.S. Flag trivia question for the day. "Upon the admission of a new state to the union, when is a new star added to the flag?" (see below for the correct answer and give yourself a point, no matter the answer)

As per the Flag Act of 1818, a new star is added on the
 4th of July following the date of the state's admission.

Jackpot

Occasionally, I find myself drawn into an episode of a popular PBS show, Antiques Roadshow. Folks present their goods to appraisers, hoping to hear the pronouncement of treasure rather than trash. The ultimate insult is when a proud person is told that their "Ming dynasty" heirloom vase is just a knock-off of the real thing. The former proud-as-punch owner has to quickly recover with as much dignity as possible on national television. I am not sure if I feel bad for them or not. Usually, said vase owner has no skin in the game other than being the current owner of an object and a tale being passed along in a family. Said vase owner probably needs to remember the old adage "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched".

The most entertaining folks are the ones who share an item that has held no prominent place in a family's lore. It might be a little tin toy that was played with extensively throughout the years. Or an "ugly" painting stuck in a box in the attic. Or a weird looking chair that has gathered dust over time. When they are given an appraisal in the high five digit range or even six digits, the blood usually rushes out of their faces and they are completely tongue-tied. The lottery has been won without buying a ticket.

I'm sure many of us watching the show wonder whether we own anything of hidden worth. Since I come from a family of tossers rather than savers, my odds are not very great. And most of my family are loath to spend on anything considered impractical. The idea that one of my relatives would purchase a fancy vase during worldwide travels is quite humorous. My grandparents spent their honeymoon driving to a TB sanitarium where my grandmother's brother was a patient. They car camped and on top of it all, my grandmother's younger brother was along for the ride. These are my people, folks. No Ming dynasty vases in our attics.

Over the years, we have had a few things that appreciated in value. There was the bizarre little beanie baby incident when I sold a beanie baby for about hundred times what I paid for it. It was bittersweet for me because I found myself feeling sorry for the woman who bought it. I don't think any stuffed object is worth that kind of money. I certainly had no sentimental attachment to the little brown bear. My husband has also sold a few old items for a shekel or two more than was ever paid for them. Rest assured, most of our artwork, jewelry and furniture are depreciating as we speak.

Antiques Roadshow does a great job of tapping into a nerve as old as the miners in the great gold rush. The risk of finding fool's gold is outweighed by the dream of fabulous riches. But when all is said and done, most of us instinctively know what is of true value in our lives. No appraiser needed.

And if you have a pretty vase in your attic, I promise not to judge.