Unpairings

There are many sweet and blessed pairings that make our world a better place (see last post). There are also a few duos that need unyoking in my estimation.

1) Chinese egg rolls and C-stores--Soda, coffee, gas, bottled water and beef jerky make sense to me. A flaccid little tube of ground something-or-other rolling away on a series of speed bumps is just plain creepy. I love a good egg roll but I think they are best left to restaurants specializing in such delicacies. (Full disclaimer: My husband will eat anything that comes out of a C-store and he says, "It's all good.")

2) Smartphones and dining out--Shut the rectangles of distraction off, people. Unless you have an app that is alerting you to the coming of the rapture, I am at a loss as to what is more important than the person who is sitting across the table from you. Yes, conversation can require creativity and a little work, but the rewards are great.

3) Sleevelessness and below zero weather--Not a wise combo. I teach in a middle school so I've seen it all. Shorts and flip-flops are the fashion selections of choice for many of them. Hats and gloves are virtually non-existent and zippers on coats are just for decoration. It's best for me to button up my third sweater layer and look the other way.

4) Coffee and flavored cream stuff--Eat a hazelnut if you are in the mood for such a thing, but leave the flavorings out of the joe. Enjoy all that an unadorned cup of coffee has to offer. Even bad coffee deserves a little respect.

5) Sixty degree weather in the winter time--Please don't send me hate mail, but I am a purist. Winter is about crunchy snow, swirly breath, sharp icicles and puffy parkas. It's a shock to the system when a chinook wind unexpectedly blows through the plains. Let springtime ease in with a whisper rather than an occasional shout.

6) Dentist appointments and days off--Yes, it makes sense to schedule appointments on days when there are more time slots to choose from. But, why should a perfectly good day be spent with a suction tube in your mouth and the sound of metal scraping on your teeth? Add that kind of joy to a work day and call it good.

7) Morning and exercise--Should be the perfect match, starting the day with a little blood pumping movement. Despite all the good reasons for dawn workouts I find it difficult to sully the beauty of daybreak with such activity.

8) Fluorescent lights and dressing rooms--It's cruel enough trying to find clothes that fit. Add to that the frightening patina caused by harsh illumination and I'm rejecting most purchases. I propose dimmer switches in all dressing rooms and mirrors with avatar choices.  

May your week be filled with many joyous pairings and feel free to unpair the annoying duets.