Real Housewives

Okay, I confess. My channel surfer has stopped on the Bravo channel a few times, giving me a glimpse into the lives of the real housewives of you-name-it. Like a train wreck, it is sometimes hard to look away. I’ve rationalized in my mind why this kind of so called entertainment is appealing, but I’ve got nothing. Suffice it to say, I’m ashamed of every minute wasted on watching women who do not even remotely represent who or what I know about my slice of the world.

I wonder what would happen if the reality TV folks came knocking on the doors of one of our Midwestern rural towns and asked to film the lives of real women and I do mean Real women. I’m going to paint a picture of what I think a show like this would look like. The show’s title is, Real Housewives of Bovee County, based on the name of a small burg near my birthplace that is no longer in existence.

Episode One: Introducing the Women of Bovee County.

Gladys is a sturdy woman who enjoys wearing seasonal sweatshirts. Every part of her body is real and she is proud to be able to put wholesome meals on the table while juggling the demands of a busy farm household. She volunteers at her local church and is the first one to bring a meal to a family in need. She does all of this without an assistant and a personal trainer.

Belva is young and sassy. She works two jobs. One is in town so she can help out with the bills on the farm and the other is on the home place doing whatever is needed. She can drive tractor with the best of them and doesn’t need a limousine driver to toodle her around. She doesn’t even need a GPS because everyone in these parts knows where everyone lives and why fiddle with a piece of unnecessary technology.

Nancy is sweet and newly married. She is committed to her husband and they work as a team on their ranch. They are up before the break of dawn and work until the sun sets and beyond. Their hard work demands a vegetarian free lifestyle. Real workers need real food.

Episode Two: No Place Like Home: In this episode we get a peek into the homes of our Bovee women.

Gladys lives in a two story, box shaped farmhouse. It could probably use a new coat of paint in the next couple of years, but the barn is on the list for this year. The interior of the house is modest and filled with an eclectic mix of old and new. Decorators are not needed for her home. She knows what works for her family and isn’t worried about what the magazine ads tell her she needs.

Belva has a contemporary style. Less clutter means less dusting. Her house represents efficiency and self reliance. Housekeepers need not apply.

Nancy is nesting into a big, old, rambling ranch home. It belonged to her husband’s parents and needs a little updating. The wedding gifts will have to do for now and hopefully it will be a good calving year so a new appliance or two can be purchased. She’s just happy for now to have a home they can call their own.

Episode Three: Drama, Bovee Style.

Gladys is faced with a tough decision this season. Her garden has been producing more than she can handle and she is wondering whether she should continue giving the surplus away or cut back on the size of her garden. Her giving spirit will most likely win out and the magnitude of her garden will be spared.

Belva has been asked to work more hours at her town job. This would certainly improve the cash flow for their household but reduce the amount of time she can spend with her family and the job she really loves. Belva will gather her family around and talk it through with them because that is what is important to her.

Nancy is pregnant. She is struggling with morning sickness and still doing her best to continue to help out around the ranch. She and her husband are looking forward to starting their family and doing it all without a nanny, driver, housekeeper, accountant, personal chef and monthly vacations.

Well, I’m not sure my prairie women series has much of a future on primetime television. For some reason glitz, false body parts and trips to Moracco are what viewers demand. I guess that is okay, but please, oh please, stop calling these shows reality TV.