Grazing

‘Tis the time of year for all things gooey and chewy, munchy and crunchy. Parties, family gatherings and traditions make sure that no culinary stone is left unturned. I am a grazer by nature so there are no complaints coming from this chick. My hat is off to all the bakers who lovingly tend pots, pans and sheet trays full of holiday goodness.

Over the years, however, I find myself gravitating toward certain delectables and leaving others behind. I have no scientific reason for my preferences. I just know that my hand reflexively reaches out like a striking snake when certain yummies are near.

Here are a few treats that don’t stand a chance in my presence.

1) Fudge—sugar dressed up in cocoa finery. I make the non-technical version with the marshmallow crème, gobs of butter and a bag of chocolate chips. One batch is never enough.

2) Chex Mix—I could eat gallons of this crunchy medley. Despite the invention of the microwave, I still think the mix is best when baked in a slow oven for an hour with gentle stirrings every 15 minutes. Junkies can never spend enough time with their Chex.

3) Cheese Balls—I don’t need anything Martha Stewarty with goat cheese and scallions. Just give me an old-fashioned orb made of that processed cheese and pimentos in a jar. Add some cream cheese and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce. Good to go.

4) Crispix Mix—the sweet cousin of Chex mix. With its merging of cereal, pretzels and peanuts, I think it could be classified as healthy.  I’m pretty sure the half pound of butter and the brown sugar is offset by the fortified cereal and protein laden nuts.

5) Peanut butter Ritz cracker thingies—I don’t know their official name but they are made by assembling a peanut butter sandwich with a couple of Ritz crackers and then dipping the whole shebang into almond bark. Crunchy, creamy deliciousness.

6) Crackers, chips and pickles—It would probably be cheaper to just set out a salt lick for me, but it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.

Now for a few goodies that are usually safe from my roving fingers.

1) Divinity—just looking at the cloyingly sweet little globs of sugar, corn syrup and egg whites gives me a sugar rush headache. Never mind the damage they wield on the enamel of my teeth.

2) Candy canes—I know it’s a little un-American to disparage the bicolor twist of mint, but I’m a purist and prefer my Altoids.

3)  Pecan Tassies—I have a love/hate relationship with the miniature pecan tartlets. Years of cookie fundraisers at my daughter’s school drove the craving right out of me. Thanks, sis-in-law, for giving up a day every Thanksgiving holiday to help me bake my fair share. We were a good baking team, but I’ve since retired my tassie gear.

4) Caramels—once a favorite of mine. The installation of permanent braces on the back of my teeth has closed the door on that old friend.

5)  Jello—I don’t see much of it on goodie trays but the stuff scares me any time of the year.

Hope your holiday dishes are filled with delightful delicacies. Happy grazing!