Festivals

This time of year it is easy to get caught up in all things Irish. Although I don’t believe I have a drop of green blood in me, I must admit that I am a bit jealous of a culture that promotes festivals and parades just for the sake of fun and frivolity. Parade routes are painted with giant shamrocks and much ado is given to processions of Mc’s and O’s and everything in between. Corned beef, cabbage and Irish soda bread are on many menus and there are green McShakes available from the drive by food purveyors.

I don’t think my ancestors were much into merriment. In defense of them, it was a hard scrabble life during their early years on the prairie. Drought, grasshoppers and disease made it difficult to scratch out a living, much less find time to plan parades and festivals. But, I do wonder what it would be like to have a national day of Dutchness like the Irish have with their St. Patrick’s Day. This is what I think a Dutch day might look like.

First of all, we would probably not have a Saint something-or-other in the name. We’re not big on people being canonized. My people prefer keeping a low profile. So, I guess the name of our special day would probably be related to horticulture. Since there are a few Dutch tulip festivals in the country already, I think a national Tulip Day should do it.

The Dutch like to keep things fastidiously clean (pretty sure I didn’t get that gene) so, naturally, there wouldn’t be any painting on the streets before the parades begin. In true Dutch tradition, the streets would be swept and scrubbed in preparation for the event. The procession would be filled with De’s and Vander’s and the clomping of wooden shoes.

Menus would feature foods such as oliebollen (donut balls fried in oil), bunket (almond pastry) and snert (pea soup).  Edam and Gouda cheese would be promoted as well as red cabbage. And, of course, potatoes—mashed and infused with bits of carrots. Not sure what our traditional drink would be, but I’m pretty sure buttermilk pop wouldn’t be the selected favorite. My grandmother seemed to like it but it had a fear factor for most of us. We’ll probably have to stick with Droste chocolate drinks with a black licorice swizzle stick.

Trinkets would be blue and white Delft pottery, the real thing and knock-offs. Windmills and little wooden shoes (klompen) would be everywhere. Tins of Wilhelmina peppermints would be as popular as Altoids  and “I Love Oma and Opa” (grandpa and grandma) mugs and T-shirts would line the store shelves. Dutch aprons and hats would, of course, be the costumes of choice and any plant with a bulb on the end of it would be part of the festival wares.

I don’t think we’ll ever have a national Tulip Day. Not because it’s not a good idea, rather, I think it would imply that my people have time for gaiety and monetary extravagance. We are a nose-to-the-grindstone bunch and it’s best not to tinker with tradition. Yes, there are pockets of Tulip exuberance around America, but we’ll blame that on a community’s desperate need for tedium release.

So I will don a little green this weekend and tip my hat to the festival of shamrocks and lamb stew. 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!