Saturday, April 21, 2012

Baseball




I am a self professed sports moron. I have not a modicum of knowledge about anything related to the world of teams, stats, trading and months of madness. I attribute this to three reasons. First of all, I didn’t grow up in a family fueled by sports. Work seemed to be a higher priority than sports so that took care of any fanaticism. Secondly, sports were not widely available to girls during my youth (and for that I am forever grateful). Perhaps the most pertinent reason, however, is that I stink at athletic competition. Sure, I was a basketball cheerleader in high school, but that had nothing to do with gymnastic skills. I could yell and I wasn’t afraid of crowds so I was qualified enough for the job at my small school.

That being said, I have a confession to make. I am starting to getting interested in baseball. In defense of myself, it has a lot to do with self preservation. You see, my husband is a big Twins fan (and yes, I know that takes a little faith right now). When baseball season is in full swing, all televisions, radios, newspapers and conversations are dialed into the latest Twins game. I either learn to tolerate the sport or prepare myself for a long, lonely summer. I’ve chosen to check out the hoopla and dip my toe into the pool of sports.

Here are a few things that still confuse me about the game.

1) RBI, HR, ERA, HELP—I have no idea what the acronyms of baseball mean. My husband tries to patiently explain some of the details to me, but I soon find my brain swimming in information overload. I think all I really need to know is the color of the uniform that I am supposed to be rooting for in each game.

2) Scratching, tugging and gesturing—I don’t know if the crotch grabbing is for anatomical reasons or if it’s a secret code. I think some of the intricate sign language gestures are for more than swatting flies, but I certainly am clueless as to their meaning. I’m in favor of subtitles for those of us who don’t speak the lingo.

3) Spitting—Years of working with school children makes me cringe whenever I see unbridled spitting. I’m sure all the chewing and spitting calms the nerves of the players, but I feel like I’m watching a herd of llamas.

Here are a few things that I like about the game.

1) Scoring—In baseball you get one point if you cross home plate. It doesn’t matter whether you started at home plate or any other base. This is in contrast to the scoring confusion in other sports where the point values are based on the intricacies of each game.

2) The number three—It is the magic number in baseball. Three strikes and you’re out. Three outs per team, per inning. Three times three gives you the number of innings in a game. Three bases around before home plate. Good enough math for me.

3) The song—I don’t know of many sports that can boast a theme song. Folks seem to love to swoon and sway as they warble away about ballparks and Cracker Jacks. It’s a sweet sight to behold.

Well, the season has just begun for baseball and I’m settling in for another round of the highs and lows of following a team. Don’t tell my husband, but I’m hoping the Twins don’t improve too much this season or we’ll be looking at an overtime season, or extra innings, or whatever you call it when a team is good.


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