I am a self professed sports moron. I have not a modicum of
knowledge about anything related to the world of teams, stats, trading and
months of madness. I attribute this to three reasons. First of all, I didn’t
grow up in a family fueled by sports. Work seemed to be a higher priority than
sports so that took care of any fanaticism. Secondly, sports were not widely
available to girls during my youth (and for that I am forever grateful). Perhaps
the most pertinent reason, however, is that I stink at athletic competition.
Sure, I was a basketball cheerleader in high school, but that had nothing to do
with gymnastic skills. I could yell and I wasn’t afraid of crowds so I was
qualified enough for the job at my small school.
That being said, I have a confession to make. I am starting
to getting interested in baseball. In defense of myself, it has a lot to do
with self preservation. You see, my husband is a big Twins fan (and yes, I know
that takes a little faith right now). When baseball season is in full swing,
all televisions, radios, newspapers and conversations are dialed into the
latest Twins game. I either learn to tolerate the sport or prepare myself for a
long, lonely summer. I’ve chosen to check out the hoopla and dip my toe into
the pool of sports.
Here are a few things that still confuse me about the game.
1) RBI, HR, ERA, HELP—I have no idea what the acronyms of
baseball mean. My husband tries to patiently explain some of the details to me,
but I soon find my brain swimming in information overload. I think all I really
need to know is the color of the uniform that I am supposed to be rooting for
in each game.
2) Scratching, tugging and gesturing—I don’t know if the
crotch grabbing is for anatomical reasons or if it’s a secret code. I think
some of the intricate sign language gestures are for more than swatting flies,
but I certainly am clueless as to their meaning. I’m in favor of subtitles for
those of us who don’t speak the lingo.
3) Spitting—Years of working with school children makes me
cringe whenever I see unbridled spitting. I’m sure all the chewing and spitting
calms the nerves of the players, but I feel like I’m watching a herd of llamas.
Here are a few things that I like about the game.
1) Scoring—In baseball you get one point if you cross home
plate. It doesn’t matter whether you started at home plate or any other base. This
is in contrast to the scoring confusion in other sports where the point values
are based on the intricacies of each game.
2) The number three—It is the magic number in baseball.
Three strikes and you’re out. Three outs per team, per inning. Three times
three gives you the number of innings in a game. Three bases around before home
plate. Good enough math for me.
3) The song—I don’t know of many sports that can boast a
theme song. Folks seem to love to swoon and sway as they warble away about
ballparks and Cracker Jacks. It’s a sweet sight to behold.
Well, the season has just begun for baseball and I’m
settling in for another round of the highs and lows of following a team. Don’t
tell my husband, but I’m hoping the Twins don’t improve too much this season or
we’ll be looking at an overtime season, or extra innings, or whatever you call
it when a team is good.
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