Victory

I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Not really. But that is how I feel every time I go into the ring with a new piece of technology and win a round. Most of my technological accomplishments would be nothing more than flipping a pancake for the average twelve year old. For me, any victory with a gidgy gadget is worth a celebratory moment.

It all started with the slow death of my printer. I should have suspected that I was in for a terminal experience when the only color it would print was a dirty pink. Yet, I continued to have hope. Maybe I had used the wrong color cartridge. Two expensive cartridges later, not the problem. Maybe I could just print in black and white and call it good. Every other page was spitting out in a grayish ink color, not going to work. Maybe I could use my husband’s fix-it method. Hit it a few times and let it rest. Working even less after that intervention. After months of unrequited love, it was time to say goodbye. I unplugged it and moved it to the what-am-I-going-to-do-with-this pile. Buying a new printer means new cables, cords, ink cartridges and instructions that are clear only to the techno wizards of the world.

Alas, I finally broke down one day and impulsively bought the first printer I saw in a store that is not known for its technology department. I should have heeded the warning signs that were written all over the experience. First, the box looked a bit shabby and had more tape holding it together than carton. Secondly, the contents looked like a re-packaging event had occurred. And finally, the fourth step in the set-up wizard involved inserting ink cartridges into an area that involved some exertion on my part. After turning the power on, an ominous message scrolled across the display screen: Cartridge jam, remove foam.

I’m not going to go into the sour details of what happened next. Let me just say that there was never any foam in the printer and I had my own re-packaging event with the beast.

Technology: 1    Me: 0

After recovering from that loss, I worked up the nerve to buy another printer. This time I went to a store with an official printer department. Maybe it was the smell of all that packaging, but I decided I should probably buy a router, too. The helpful young lad assured me that I could EASILY hook up a router as it was as simple as connecting it to ...... I was already four vocabulary words behind him, but I felt a surge of hopefulness and purchased the router and a new printer.

The router box was smallest so I made the decision to connect it first. The task involved crawling around behind my computer desk, trying to decipher the spaghetti plate of cords and cables, and making a mental note to dust someday in the future.

The EASY start-up wizard started spitting out instructions that were senseless to me. What is an Ethernet cable??? What gadget is my modem?? Where do I go to poke my eyes out??

After an hour of plugging any cable I could find into any port that would accept it, the impossible happened. A connection was made.

Technology: 0   Me: 1

My office looks like a war zone, but the ugly beast of failure has been tamed. Well, at least for now. I still have a printer that needs to meet me at O.K. corral.

Wish me luck!