Quick

Fast food is a convenience many folks partake of on hectic days. Truth to be told, I have limited experience in the fast food world and lest ye think I am a health snob, I am most certainly not. Goodness knows I could live on french fries for the rest of my living days without a murmur. My hesitancy in the quick food routine is my unfamiliarity with the lingo. Add to that my diminished hearing acuity and I am ordering with my fingers crossed, hoping to get what I want.

Case in point. I treated my niece to a Happy Meal last week. She is fairly savvy with the little box of goodies so she promised to coach me through the experience. We pulled up to the ordering screen and I confidently asked for one Happy Meal with chicken nuggets, Gogurt and milk. The faceless voice repeated my request and I confirmed her response. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief, the faceless one squawked "bozh or gurzh?" What? I repeated my order again, thinking I missed something. The garbly voice once again asked, "bozh or gurzh?" Desperate to comply, I said "Gogurt?", hoping I could just throw another word out and get this over with. Once again I hear "bozh or gurzh" and one more word, "toy." Now my niece realized the dilemma and said, "I think they want to know if I want a boy or girl toy in the Happy Meal." Last chance for me to get the drive through line moving again and I blurted out "Girl." Winner, winner, chicken dinner. We got the go ahead to pull forward. My niece sweetly consoled me and said, "My family always has trouble ordering, too." What she should have said was, "They have cheap hearing aids at Costco."

My husband is much more competent in the procedural requirements of ordering quick food. He usually knows what he wants and how to select items from multiple choice menus. He often has his food ordered before I have found the section on french fries. One gift we share, however, is difficulty in deciphering the voice on the other end of the drive through speaker. On our way out of town a couple of weeks ago, we found ourselves talking with the faceless one, hoping to get a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets and, of course, fries. All went well, until we heard, "You can get 2 muzmets for $5.00." What? "You can get 2 muzmets for $5.00." I looked at my husband and asked, "Do you know what she said?" He shook his head and was ready to ask for another repeat. At this point, I was getting impatient. We were already running late so I am thinking whatever deal she is offering is going to have to be ours. How much food can it be for $5.00? So, I yelled out to the faceless one, "Sure." My husband just shrugged his shoulders and pulled ahead. We grabbed our rather hefty looking bag of food and expectantly opened it up. In addition to our order, we were now the proud parents of 2 orders of chicken nuggets (10 each) for five bucks. Yes, that is 20 chicken nuggets. And this is where the story really takes a tragic turn. Twenty miles down the road, all nuggets were consumed and a few miles later, I was licking the last of the french fry salt from my fingers.  I looked at my husband and said, "I guess we were hungry." 

What I should have said is, "I'll pack sandwiches next time."