Promotion

Do not get excited about the implied meaning in the title of this post. I will not be getting a promotion any time soon. Let me rephrase. I will never get a promotion in my current career, unless you count the move I made from a windowless room to a room with a view of the cafeteria. I am not complaining, rather, I am simply stating the facts. Fortunately, my DNA is programmed to be less focused on promotions and  more on the job that needs to be done now. Therefore, I am puzzled by the recent craze of graduation ceremonies for every child, puppy or chicken who takes a step toward next year's requirements.

In my opinion, the most egregious example is pre-school graduations. They are filled with little peeps clutching certificates of merit and photo-ops with button busting parents. Flower bouquets are showered upon the tots as if to say they accomplished a climb to the top of Mount Everest without an oxygen tank. Rational parents are guilted into going with the flow so little Lena won't be the only one without a gift bag and a red rose. Seriously, folks, must we start with the formal ceremonies for the under six crowd? Darling as the munchkins are, their only true accomplishment was finding their socks and shoes and getting in the car when the parental units barked out, "Time for school!" Believing that the little ones earned a graduation extravaganza sends a message that rewards are given for doing what you are supposed to do.

I confess my eighth grade graduation was a ceremony with great pomp and circumstance and looking back, I wonder if it was necessary. It was certainly an evening of much anticipation. The girls always selected dresses of the same color (our mother's sewed back then) and we all had our hair done professionally. I went to the "Beauty Box" located in a basement room below a store on main street. I am not sure why I thought a bouffant style was a good idea but my new do made me feel older and more mature so I went with it. Pictures from the event confirm my suspicions, I looked like a 14-year-old wearing a blond helmet. Nevertheless, I was proud of my diploma and I didn't realize my only accomplishment was following state mandates.

A case can be made for most graduation ceremonies rewarding little more than compliance to given criteria. Although that may be true, there are many students (sadly) who do not make it through high school. A combination of life and poor choices can sabotage a walk across the stage for a diploma. Students receiving a diploma after 12+ years of formal education deserve some clapping of hands and parties of punch and cake. High school is also a fork in the road for teenagers. College, technical institutes and jobs await further exploration and many decisions will be made along the way. A graduation ceremony sends a message of celebration and support.

So, if your neighbor sends you a graduation invitation for their chicken who laid its first egg, stay strong. Decline the invitation but offer to make an omelet. That is a true accomplishment.