When I Grow Up

"When I grow up, I want to be______."

Most of us remember how we filled in the blank during our younger days. Some folks filled in the blank at a very early age with a selection that was spot on for the future. Others filled in the blank with a variety of career choices over the course of many years. While I was growing up, I filled in the blank with several options reflective of my generation: secretary, dental assistant (WHAT was I thinking), librarian, church organist (no pay) and teacher. I wisely never entertained the thought of being a nurse. There would be fewer people alive today if I had gone that route. You're welcome.

Not surprisingly, my strongest career choice was teacher. I often corralled my younger siblings into the game of "school". The youngest ones were my unsuspecting targets and they learned quickly that this game had only one rule. Their oldest sister was the teacher and she was in charge. The school game was usually short-lived for obvious reasons.

Fast forward many years (30 years of teaching later) and I am once again trying to fill in the blank. Retirement means many things and soon enough, I need to know what I am going to do when I grow up. As during the days of my youth, there are "career" choices reflective of my age and generation: Walmart Greeter (get to wear a snappy vest), Sample Lady at Hy-Vee (snack time), Valet Parker at the hospital (probably need to know how to park for that one) and Professional Volunteer (limitless). None seem particularly appealing at this time so I keep my eyes and ears open to possibilities.

A Lay's Potato Chip truck pulled up next to me on the street a few days ago and I wondered about that job. Sitting amidst snack items all day must be very comforting. Being evaluated by my driving skills and not being able to eat said snack items is a deal breaker. Scratch that idea.

Any job involving extended periods of time outdoors (more than 10 minutes) is probably not going to happen either. My see-through skin and aversion to temperatures above 70 degrees make it difficult for survival in occupations involving Mother Nature. She is precocious and I am weak. Not a good combo.

If a job is fraught with a lot of multi-tasking details, I am dead in the water. Administrative assistants are saints and waitresses are warriors in my book. My spongy brain and fuzzy hearing would likely result in being "asked to leave." Some jobs are destined for failure.

Yes, it is true. I am a one-trick pony. My skill set is shallow and my original career path prepared me for one task, teaching. So, I am saddling up for another year in the classroom. And if I figure out what I want to be when I grow up, you will be the first to know.