25 Hours

For folks who have made the statement, “I wish I had an extra hour in my day,” this weekend is for you. It is time to turn back the clocks one hour and step out of the Daylight Savings time zone. It is also time for me to nurture two of my favorite dueling internal forces—guilt and rationalization.

I am the queen of guilt. I carry it around on my shoulder like an old friend. I feed it daily with copious amounts of “I-should-have-done-thats." I even have a name for my friend. I call it the Guilt Gibbon. He persistently whispers in my ear, demanding more attention than I should, perhaps, be giving him.

I also belong to the royal court of rationalizations. When the Gibbon is shrieking away about a shortcoming, my rationalization responder is busy generating a ready reply. Carrying these two buddies around isn’t always easy, but it is certainly entertaining, in a twisted sort of way.

Turn-back-the-clock-weekend is the perfect arena for a match between my two cronies. The Gibbon obsesses about the most productive and dynamic way to use the extra hour, while the Rationalizer squawks back with a seemingly reasonable counterpoint.

Here is a list of activities that the Guilt Gibbon would advise for the extra hour, followed by the Rationalizer’s response.

1)     You should organize your underwear drawer.

It’s good enough. You already have three piles: good elastic, some elastic, and only for desperate days elastic.

2)     You should wash your windows.

That’s going to take longer than an hour so you are going to lose hours in that equation.

3)     You should write thank-you notes to people you care about.

Stamps, cards, addresses, a pen that works….too many details.

4)     You should clean out your e-mail inbox.

What if you delete an important message? Best to just wait for a notification from your provider and deal with it then.

5)     Read a classic novel.

You already have 3 books that you haven’t finished and are due back to the library by next week. Best get cracking at those instead.

6)     You should start your holiday baking.

Storing all that stuff in the freezer too early is just asking for stale, baked goods come time for the holidays.

7)     You should take a brisk walk outdoors.

What about that rogue dog you saw in the neighborhood last week? You know you don’t do well with the canine species.

8)     You should figure out why your camera keeps flashing that weird icon.

Do you even know where the manual is? Besides, fuzzy out of focus pictures are sorta artsy.

9)     You should check some papers for school.

It’s the weekend, you silly goose.

10)  You should winterize your house.

You don’t even know what that means.

Well, folks, I hope you enjoyed the show. I will probably do what I always do when I am presented with an extra hour.  Pour myself another cup of coffee and be thankful.