Inventions

I recently finished a book about the inventions of Clarence Birdseye. If you think you might have heard of his name, you are probably right. He was the man who introduced America to the possibilities of frozen foods. He was clearly a man before his time. The average American didn’t even own refrigerators, much less freezers that didn’t involve ice blocks and sawdust. He was a persevering soul with a longsuffering wife and he went to his grave still sketching inventions that he was sure would make the world a better place.

I’m not an inventor but I am grateful for the inventions that have enhanced my life. Here are a few of them:

1) Showers—When I’m forced to use a bathtub, I feel like I’m sitting in my own soup, watching my skin curdle. Not very refreshing in my estimation. I’m not sure if the shower was ever “invented” but someone had to follow up on how good it felt to stand under a waterfall as compared to sloshing around in a murky river. As my husband likes to say, “There’s nothing like a hot shower to wash the stink of the day away.”

2) Pencil sharpeners—Using a knife to whittle away at a nubbin of graphite embedded wood is one way to sharpen a pencil, but not very efficient. We now have crank sharpeners, mini-hand held sharpeners and electric sharpeners, all of which will probably be displayed in the Smithsonian Institute as relics of the pre-IPad generation. Until then, I’m happy to crank away.

3) Bunn coffeemakers—I love my Bunn. For those of us who have survived percolators, jars of instant coffee and the early models of Mr. Coffee, it is a blessing to use a coffeemaker that has your cup of java brewed before you are finished brushing your teeth. A coffee addict needs a buzz early and often.

4) Air Conditioners—This tundra girl never lets a summer day go by without thanking the Lord for the air conditioner. Having grown up in a house without such a convenience, I’m well aware of the toll that heat takes on one’s nerves and productivity. My mom was an expert in utilizing the “prairie air-conditioning system”--open all the windows in the evening and put a large box fan in the window to pull the cool air into the house. Then, promptly close all the windows in the morning to keep the sultry air of the day outside of the house. I can still see the feet of my sister and I as we stuck them into our bedroom window from our bed, trying to cool off enough to get a good night’s sleep.

5)  Curling irons—Believe it or not, folks, there was a time before curling irons were accessible to the general public. As someone with poker straight hair, I am grateful for the chance to add a little lift to my lifeless tresses. I remember a time when some women did their Saturday afternoon grocery shopping with a head covered with hair rollers.  Electric rollers and curling irons have pretty much eradicated that fashion statement. Probably a good thing.

6) Pasteurization—Thank you, Louis Pasteur, for your obsession with microbes. Pasteurization has made it possible for me not to worry about pathogens doing the backstroke in my dairy products. I’ve been up close and personal with a cow’s udder and I think it is best to leave the raw stuff to the baby cows.

I hope you are grateful, too, for all the inventions that make your life a bit more pleasant. And, thank you again, Mr. Birdseye, for making peas just as delightful in the winter as they are in their summer pods.