Forbidden

 

Over the years, I have logged my share of hours watching cooking shows. It began with the black and white version of Julia Child as the French Chef and has progressed to an endless palette of shows teaching us how to cook everything from artichokes to ziti. Despite my zeal for watching the shows, I must confess that the transfer into my kitchen is not always immediate or long lasting. I think part of the reason for this disconnect is that there are very few shows (as in none) that focus on real Midwestern cooking. There seem to be a few ingredients that are forbidden in the world of culinary masterpieces. Never mind that these ingredients have stood the test of time and are a cook’s best friend when time is in short supply. I must warn you that the following food items may be disturbing to some. Readers are advised to use discretion before going on.

1) Velveeta Cheese—Yes, there is something creepy about a brick of golden yellow cheese product that sits on unrefrigerated shelves in the grocery store. But, the creamy goodness that occurs when chunks of it are stirred into soups or dip is hard to beat. And to top it all off, there are dozens of uses for the sturdy little box after the cheese is long gone. Win, win in my book.

2) Cream of Anything soups—I’m sure Martha Stewart would have to use an Epi-Pen if she so much as whispered the name of a canned cream soup. Well, I’ll leave it up to Martha to stir up a fancy roux or béchamel sauce for her food binders. As for me, a can of cream of celery soup is just the ticket for whipping up a hearty hotdish on a cold winter’s night. And, yes, Martha would need another Epi-pen for saying the word hotdish.

3) Canned Salmon—Salmon is a very popular ingredient on cooking shows. I’ve learned how to select a fresh salmon by checking for clear eyes, smooth skin and the clean smell of the ocean. Land locked alert—not much for fresh salmon around here. Here’s my advice for selecting salmon—look for a can that is not dented and has a salmony looking fish on the label. Works every time and makes the best salmon loaf around.

4) Cool Whip—There is probably nothing related to the world of dairy in this product, but its versatility just can’t be beat. It doesn’t need whipping, it’s stable enough to withstand the rigors of warm jello, and it keeps in the freezer for…..ever, I think. It’s also quite tasty as a snack right out of the bowl. And, like Velveeta, there are infinite uses for the leftover container.

5) Lipton Onion Soup Mix—Long before we had ten shelves of herbs and spices to choose from in the grocery story, we had a lowly little box with a couple of packets of “onion soup mix.” I’m not sure how many cooks actually used it for making soup, but, boy-howdy, did folks ever use it in a variety of other dishes---meatloaf, hamburger, pot roast, dips--- just about anything that needed a flavor boost. I noticed that the humble box has received a makeover and is now called “Recipe Secrets”. I’m not sure who we are keeping the secrets from, but I’m all for anything that makes life easier.

So, whether you are using Gruyere, Gouda or Velveeta cheese, I hope your holiday cooking season is filled with good recipes and good company. Bon appétit.

 

 

 

 

Here is my recipe for Hearty Beef Stew. No fancy red wine, Turkish bay leaves or homemade beef stock necessary.

1 ½ lbs. stew meat

4-6 potatoes

1 ½ c. carrots

1 med. onion

2-3 stalks of celery

1 can tomato soup

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 ½ cans of water

Salt and pepper to taste

Cut up vegetables and stir all ingredients together in a large pot. Bake at 275 degrees for 5 hours.