Hacks

Sometimes I am completely baffled by the morphing of words in our English language. Case in point, my name. I was christened Gay Lenore by my parents who were very happy to have a healthy baby girl after losing a son to spinal meningitis. Now, my name causes puzzled looks from younger generations and a hesitation to speak it aloud. I cherish my name but I have adopted variations in an attempt to make it easier for others to cope.

Lately, the word "hack" has bewildered me. Prior to the age of technology, the word had three meanings for me. One involved weapons of cutting destruction, e.g. The cat hacked a mouse to death. Another meaning involved bronchial activity, e.g. The cat hacked up another hairball. A third meaning referred to endurance, e.g. The cat was unable to hack the long ride to the vet. A more recent definition emerged with computers, e. g. All my cat videos were hacked.

I will spare you the complete etymology of the word "hack" but apparently the first known use of the word had to do with rearing young hawks. Fast forward a few generations and the word now means shortcut or helpful tip, e.g. One hack for stopping cats from upchucking on your carpet is removing all your carpet.

In the spirit of the latest meaning of the word hack, I have a few hacks of my own.

1) Fruit juice--No, I do not create cutesy drinks from fruit gone bad. I do, however, need a small amount of juice on occasion for a recipe. I am not a juice drinker so excess juice goes to waste. Enter, frozen juice concentrate. I can scoop out as much apple or orange concentrate as I need to make just the right amount of juice. No more aging juice containers staring me down in the fridge.

2) Golf pencils--I am a middle school teacher and there is one constant in my life. Students with no pencils. It is a time wasting activity for all parties as said students bother classmates and the teacher for a writing utensil. My blood pressure demands a simpler solution. Golf pencils. Boxes and boxes of them, 144 per box. Each stubby little sharpened pencil removes one more excuse for not being productive. Productivity equals happy teacher.

3) Dim lights--I was probably a mole in another life due to my aversion to bright lights. There are advantages to pale lighting besides matching my skin. Dust is less visible when the lights are down low and a bad hair day can seem a little less repugnant. Take my advice and view the world with a little less garishness.

4) Dressing rooms--Is there anything worse than trying on clothes in a fluorescent-lit, 2x2 space? I discovered that if I take my glasses off, I can focus on what is important, comfort and fit. I no longer obsess about the misshapen image staring back at me from the circus mirror. The hazy image is now my friend and I am able to shop without terror.

Enjoy a little hacking this week, be it chopping, coughing, saving time or fledging a baby hawk.