Fidgets

Patience begins to wear thin as the school year wanes. Add to that the latest craze for middle school students, fidget widgets. If you do not know what they are, consider yourself blessed. If you know what they are, sorry. A fidget widget is a spinning, whirring piece of plastic and ball bearings. In the hands of an easily distracted child, the gadget is tantamount to handing a baggie of cocaine to a meth addict.

Marketing geniuses discovered the Achilles tendon of parents. Advertisements tout the widget as an antidote for "fidgeting, stress, ADD, anxiety and leprosy" (okay, I lied on the last one). Somehow a spinning, noisy toy is supposed to let peace reign again in Kidland. There is a shred of truth in such logic. Restless kids do need an outlet for their energy, however, the students I have watched "destressing" usually fall into a hypnotic trance while watching their helicopters of desire go round and round. Meanwhile, their peers are subjected to the sound of buzzing bees and more students are off task than ever before.

The faulty premise of fidget widgets is the belief that no child should ever have to learn how to appropriately cope with stillness. News flash, most middle school students are riddled with pent up energy and angst. It is in their DNA. If Lester is antsy because he is supposed to write a one-paragraph response to a given question, that is normal. There are two ways such an assignment can go down. Lester can take out his widget and spin it until the period is over or Lester can pick up a pencil and start writing. Both involve action but only one gets the job done.

My advice to parents is to occasionally bring your middle schoolers to events that involve sustained periods of non-stimulation and, heaven forbid, sitting quietly. My parents chose to attend weekly church services, all children in tow, antsy or otherwise. This helped us exercise our muscles of respecting other people's space and understanding that egocentricity is not always advised. Drama presentations, symphony concerts and formal events also demand a quiet decorum. My old-fashioned belief is that teenagers are capable of more than staring at cellphones or watching things spin. It is the job of adults to guide them into maturity, not find quick fixes.

That being said, I have a few students who know how to quietly use a fidget gadget. I confess that I, too, found ways to quietly entertain myself as a kid. Enter, the hankie. Yes, I am that old. My sisters and I used them to create little boats, roll-ups and our favorite, babies in a blanket. The hankie was quiet and creative. Rest assured, however, if mom gave us the put-the-hankies-away-look, we stopped.

Certainly, we were not perfect kids and the same is true of most kids today. Parents, feel free to spend your money on fidget widgets or any gadget that may be a positive tool for coping. But, here are two cautionary thoughts:

1. Time and place for gadgets.

2. Hankies are cheaper.

Hankie Babies