Crumbs

By now most of us have sailed or slogged our way through the first of two end-of-year holidays. Thanksgiving seems to be all about the food. Traditionally, of course, there is the golden turkey decked out with mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole and stuffing. An assortment of pies usually closes the deal with pumpkin leading the pack.

A less traditional event, but gaining in popularity, is Friendsgiving. Table guests are related by friendship rather than blood. Such events are intended to be more casual and can be a substitute or antidote for the traditional fanfare of larger gatherings. The striking component of a Friendsgiving is that expectations are more relaxed. It is no secret that holiday "failures"  are almost a sure thing when one tries to orchestrate family events according to a Norman Rockwell painting or Martha Stewart lifestyle book. If Thanksgiving is all about carving the perfect turkey with the perfect adults and children, we are missing the point.

I did not have a Friendsgiving this year, but I would not classify my holiday as traditional, either. In the days before Turkey Day, our house was grand central station for a few of my nieces and nephews as they connected with each other before moving onward to feasts in other states. Nasty weather made the process interesting, but everyone made it to their chosen destinations. Our time together did not include meals of turkey or cranberries but we enjoyed lots of laughter and good conversation with grain bowls, comfort casserole and raisin bread toast. And snacks. Lots of snacks.

By Thanksgiving Day, all our house guests were gone and we were off to my mother's assisted living facility to join her gang for a family style meal. Seating is always an interesting process because it is "open seating" which is challenging for residents who thrive on their own assigned chairs. We have learned to go early and stake territory near the end of the table. We were joined by another resident and her son. They were originally from our hometown so conversation swirled around the "old days" of our youth. We had turkey, potatoes, beans, corn, sweet potatoes and rolls. A good meal without a bird to carve in sight. A few of us were related by blood but for the most part we were really just a captive crowd connected by a place. We all agreed the best part of the meal was that we did not have to do any cooking or cleaning up.

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving this year, traditional or otherwise. My advice to all is to heed the words of Proverbs 17:1, "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife." Turkeys, tofu or tater tots, all are good with a little love and kindness.