The Queue

The holiday season brings to us many traditional experiences. Christmas music plays in retail centers. Bells clang near red donation pots. Twinkling lights outline homes and trees. Blow-up Santas wave on snowy lawns.  Mail increases in our boxes. Holiday cookies and candies tempt their way into our bellies. And queues form. Lots of queues. Queues can be short, long, annoying, entertaining or all of the above. Last week I found myself in many queues. Here are a few memorable moments.

I needed to get a package in the mail by a certain date so the clock was ticking. The line was fairly long at the customer service desk but I was in it to win it. The lady ahead of me started a conversation about the weather, always a safe and innocuous topic. We continued with a few remarks about the slow moving line we were in and that it was to be expected this time of year. When I finally made it to the counter, the frazzled clerk put my package on the scale and we waited for the information to pop up. And we waited. And we waited some more. The clerk looked at me and said, "It looks like the system is down." She looked at the long line behind me and yelled, "We're all going to have to wait with packages. The system is down." With a big sigh, I took my package and went home. Fortunately, a later attempt that day was successful.

I had a small international package that involved a trip to the main post office. The lines are usually long, especially this time of year. Two calm, I've-seen-it-all gentlemen were working the service counters. My plan was to complete the customs form by the work station and then queue up with my package. However, the work station was completely void of customs forms so I queued up without a completed form. When I finally made it to the counter, I asked for a customs form and the attendant apologetically handed me a stack and asked if I would restock the work station. I didn't want to hold up the line behind me so I gave up my spot and headed back to the work station. After completing my form, I lined up again and finally made it to the service counter. The clerk took my small package and after weighing it he said, "You won't need a customs form for this one. It's under the necessary weight." Well, okey, dokey, then. Good to know. While I had his attention, I asked for guidelines on international packages and he kindly educated me on such matters. I am a smarter person for it.

My favorite queue happened on an early morning run to the grocery store. The lone cashier was waiting on the only customer ahead of me. The customer was clearly a worker bee with his bright neon jacket and sandwich/Mountain Dew/candy bar purchase. The cashier politely asked him, "How are you?" The gentleman took a long a pause as if he was just asked to find Guam on a Geography quiz. He finally replied, "Not terrible." I giggled to myself and decided that "not terrible" is good enough for most days.

Merry Christmas to all of you! May your queues be short and entertaining.